So last night my dad calls to say "hi". This time he forgoes the details of his dating life that always goes something to the effect of "...I'm dating this Jewish woman who I met at the gym [in the retirement community where I live], but she's too old for me...." or "...I'm seeing this woman, who is Jewish, but she complains all the time..." or "...I'm dating this lady, but she's Catholic...." You get the picture. Excuse after excuses.
Anyhow...
So last night he didn't mention any of his love life to me (thank goodness) but instead he told me about one of my uncles (his brother), who had to get 20 prostate stones removed. Prostate stones? 20?!?!? wtf man! I never even heard of such a thing, but this isn't the part that bothered me. I can stomach body part talk.
After hearing the nitty gritty details of the operation, and being informed that my uncle would be fine, I was trying to speculate what could have cause such an ailment while talking to my dad. His diet? heredity? weight? Then out of the blue my dad says "well, my brother is a big man..." and he is. He's probably the fattest relative I know of...and then my dad went on... "..maybe I shouldn't discus this with the family, but my brother does have a very large penis...it's huge...so maybe that could have caused complications..." ok ok dad. enough!!
The last thing I need to think about is my obese, more-than-somewhat weirdo uncle's wiener... and to beat you smart allec readers to the punch, no, nothing weird ever happened between my uncle and I. I barely even saw the guy when growing up.
OK. time to stop now. Have a good weekend!
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3 comments:
I think i just threw up in my mouth...
HAHA
Yeah, have your parents ever told you where you were conceived? Talk about TMI.
The other day I was talking to my mom about Half Moon Bay, and how much I love it there.
"Well, you know you were conceived there, don't you?" she said.
"Uh... oh," is all I could manage. Its even weirder to think about that since my parents are divorced. They don't even want to be in the same room, let alone "conceive" anything at this point, haha.
ugh, should freak you out more that your uncle's prostate stones were probably found during a ROUTINE procedure called transrectal ultrasound.
Which means they put that dildo thing that they use at the OBGYN up into his youknow.
The images must be amazing in there...
ouchie
wingnut a.
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